Colonizers

In the tragic hilarious and eminently watchable movie Mickey 17 the invasion of a planet and the attack on the superintelligent native species (dismissively labelled "critters") is best exemplified by the capture of a baby critter by the humans. The curiosity for interspecies understanding is limited to, well, cutting off the tail of the said critter, putting it in a blender, and then saying "what sauce does this best go with?"

Irreverent, wildly unpredictable, and in the end hopefully, Mickey 17 is an original movie that traverses sci fi, humour, dystopia - and holds well

16/20

Phew!

And so The Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn II - brings the series to a close - mercifully. While I do not even profess to understand what the series was all about, it seemed to me that the whole point of this movie was a confrontation between vampires and - you guessed it - more vampires - on a frozen lake. As to what the confrontation is all about - Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) are protecting their child - Renesmee Cullen (Mackenzie Foy) - from the Volturi. Outnumbered but in a tightly knit unit, the remarkable powers of the small resistance are put to a reasonably arduous test. But - nothing extreme. This, you see, is a patchwork romance and beyond a stunningly handsome/ beautiful cast, I suppose the rest is peripheral

9/20

Not Eclipsed Yet

Like vampires, this series refuses to die. In The Twilight Saga – Eclipse, Bella Swan (Kristin Stewart) has figured that she does want to be a vampire – after graduation of course – to be together evermore with her one (of two true loves) – Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). This is taken none too kindly by Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) who makes no secret of his love, and his intentions of thwarting the above alliance. In the meantime, rogue newborns (new vampires) run amok in Seattle, and it takes the full power and might of a token skirmish to bring law and order back to the world. I have been informed that there is a fourth installment on its way, and have promised myself to avoid it under all circumstances. But this is the issue with sequels – they are so smartly spaced out, that you sometimes forget how pathetic the previous edition was..

7/20

Hope this is the Twilight of This Series

In some quirky way, I can actually empathize with a vampire romance series. I suppose there are people out there who would find a love triangle with a vampire and a werewolf respectively, intriguing if not downright charming. And I also suppose that if I had the inclination to read the Stephenie Meyer novel that forms the basis of the series, or had watched the first part, some of the movie may have actually made sense to me. The fact of the matter is that none of these aforementioned wonderful things came to pass. So here I was, watching The Twilight Saga: New Moon wondering what’s going on. Which viewer in his right senses would be moved by the mediocre acting, the uninspired dialogue, and the downright horrific graphics. Was left wondering how the disjointed pieces that came together in the movie fit together. Wondered whether someone actually expected that the revelation of Jakob Black (Taylor Lautner) as a werewolf was actually a matter of suspense. In the end, I could not recall a single thing that I actually liked about the movie. And this is one of those reviews that I am glad I am penning down, because two weeks down the line I am not going to be able to recall a single thing about this eminently forgettable movie

5/20