Monstrous, Relatively Speaking

In the not-too-distant future, the northern half of Mexico is cordoned off on account of an alien outbreak. While army patrols and enormous military defences struggle to “hold the line” as it were, photo-journalist Andrew Kaulder (Scoot McNairy) takes on an assignment to escort wealthy Samantha Wynden (Whitney Able) across to the safety of the United States. Post a river-boat journey followed by a convoy through the jungle, overnight, Andrew and Samantha find themselves the only survivors of an alien attack. As they make their way towards the safety of the US, certain facts of the ostensibly dangerous infestation never cease to amaze. Monsters is an interesting treatment on alien infestations, and brings noveau to a hackneyed genre

13/20

Shadows of the Mind

The first installment taught the audience to stick to deductive reasoning and not to be carried away by the (seemingly) occult. I am not sure what the second installment did, other than remind the audience of the theatrical elements so successfully used in the first installment. The predictive action sequences were hackneyed. The Europe-wide intrigue was anything but menacing. The incursion into Germany and chase sequences distinctly smelt steampunk way before WWI let alone WWII. In the end, we got a reasonably watchable thriller circa 1900, where the deductive reasoning element seemed to have headed to Brighton on holiday (or, case in point, shown in certain hurried sequences). Am not sure if Sherlock Holmes – A Game of Shadows reeked of Cossacks, but it surely smacked of a light-touch and un-originality. And that too from Guy Ritchie. Tch

11.5/20

The Longest of leaps

The ever so predictable Adam Sandler deviates ever so slightly from the familiar canned humor to produce a surprisingly balanced movie in The Longest Yard. On the face of it, the script does not sound particularly exciting – Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) the ex-football star, disgraced for shaving points in a big game, finds himself serving a three year prison sentence for theft and drunk driving. Riled by the domineering practices of the prison guards, Paul decides to make a football team out of the inmates that will be more than pushovers for the prison guards’ tune up game. With a small core team, and on the way, picks up a coach in Nate Scarborough (Burt Reynolds), and some valuable players on account of some personal bravado vis-à-vis the theatrically aggressive prison guards. And as the movie progresses towards the predictable climax in the nature of all sports movies, you realize that this is one movie that does balance humor, and old-fashioned inspiration, rather well

13/20

Change the Game

It takes a lot of conviction to bring a new technique – in this case, hardcode quantitative analysis to major league baseball – and then to stick by it. And what does “sticking by” really entail? Well, for a start, being a one-man proponent of a technique that requires the coach replaced, and many star players traded out for unknowns or perceived also-rans. It also means taking hard decisions all too often. So when Billy Beane (Brad Pitt) takes on the unenviable task of resurrecting the Oakland A’s, in the capacity of General Manager, his odds, to say the least, are pretty limited. And, in the tradition of sports movies, Billy makes something significant of that nothing – in his words, he makes a difference and leaves his very own indelible mark on the game – Moneyball. While the movie is generally tipped to go the way of the likes of The Blind Side and Invictus come Oscar night, unlike these predecessors, Moneyball does require a baseball gene to be appreciated, and does not resound with universal appeal

12/20

No one in Nome

For those not on a weekly diet of spooky movies, The Fourth Kind is reasonably creepy – i.e. reasonable enough to qualify as a science fiction horror movie without further qualification, while not quite spooky enough to make hairs stand on end, especially on a 21 inch screen. The premise is simple enough. A mockumentary (in the style of the Blair Witch Project) shows one Dr Abigail Tyler (Charlotte Milchard, and her younger avatar, Milla Jovovich) being interviewed on television, recounting her research into unexplained disappearances in Nome, Alaska. The movie weaves its way through pseudo-real footage, ancient languages (Sumerian!) making inexplicable appearances in Nome, and other reasonably copybook alien abduction routine. However, where the movie succeeds is (as mentioned earlier, if you are not brought up on a one-horror-movie-a-day routine) showing some disturbing footage that appears real, and makes you mildly curious about the strange goings-on in remote Alaskan towns

11/20

Blaze a Trail

In a movie that bears little resemblance to the eponymous TV series, Burn Notice – The Fall of Sam Axe finds US Marine Commander Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell) shipped off to a dangerous mission in the jungles of Colombia. However, his mission to unearth the dangerous guerilla group Espada Ardiente (The Flaming Sword) does not quite lead to expected outcomes? How above-board is the outfit that he is working with? And how much of a terrorist group is the Flaming Sword, actually? While the skeletons tumble out of the closet one after another, the admittedly low-intensity action keeps the movie humming along. Truly unremarkable, even in respect of the surprises, and only redeemed by the periodic mild comic turns brought in by Sam Axe

10/20

Puncturing Lives

A needle stick is a regular occurrence across US hospitals – health workers getting accidentally pricked with patient needles – and diseases like AIDS and Hepatitis B spreading as a result. In addition, continued use of plastic, as opposed to glass, syringes, meant that re-use without sterilization was also leading to a large number of needless deaths especially in the poorer countries. So when Mike Weiss (Chris Evans) and Paul Danziger (Mark Kassen) and their small Texas-based personal-liability focused law firm take up the cause of scientist Jefferey Dancort (Marshall Bell) and his safety needle, their case, at the outset, seems to be quite in the clear. What the duo and their client have not reckoned with are the brute forces of the organized healthcare industry, and their deep reach into both the political and legal systems. With their law firm virtually on the brink of bankruptcy, and a somewhat wearied Paul increasingly pitted against an unrelenting Mike, does the duo actually manage to pull off a David-vs-Goliath? Post The Lincoln Lawyer, Puncture is the best law movie that I have come across, and in the nature of those (movies) that suffer without an exalted cast and special effects, vastly under-rated

14/20

Con the Con

A procurement of clothes in Lucknow for a trader, that’s entirely fictitious. A building sold in Delhi that is not even owned by the seller. A painting (Husain, no less) sold in Mumbai that is, well, not genuine. In all cases, there are (admittedly gullible) women and their entourages wronged, by con artist Ricky Behl (Ranveer Singh). Now three wronged and extremely dangerous women from three cities get together and field their trump – one delectable and persuasive salesgirl Ishika Desai (Anushka Sharma) to con the conman, in sunny Goa. However, as expected, things do not quite fall according to plan. The conman has oodles of experience and all the smarts required to outwit his avengers. However, in the nature of Bollywood heroes, he also has a heart of gooey mush. On the whole, Ladies vs Ricky Bahl is entertaining, while it admittedly defies logic in (many) parts

11.5/20

Another Mission Possible

Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) begins Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol with a little help from his friends in getting out of a Russian prison. However, on a subsequent routine if difficult assignment in Russia, things go awry, and the IMF suddenly finds itself under Ghost Protocol – disavowed at the best of times, they are now on their own and behind enemy lines. Under the circumstances, the prospect of thwarting a warmonger’s evil plans to trigger a nuclear apocalypse seem remote indeed. Something that will necessitate a trip to Dubai and – hold your breath – Mumbai – to get things moving. This MI edition will stick in your memory for two distinct reasons. One is the Burj Khalifa – the tallest building in the world – and some rather unforgettable feats related to the same. The other is our very own Anil Kapoor in a meaningful if comic role. Overall, in the copybook thriller mould, Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol does not disappoint, but does not attempt any transmogrification of the genre either 13.5/20

Clean Distant and Accurate

Whether it be the clinical kills of Vassili Zaitsev (Jude Law) in Enemy at the Gates, or Private Jackson’s (Barry Pepper) Biblical utterations prior to every shot in Saving Private Ryan, or a terrified Stu Shephard (Colin Farrel) frozen in a Phone Booth, the sniper has always held a special place in our psyche inasmuch action movies are concerned. So when Chad Michael Collins (Marine Brandon Beckett) receives a summons to rescue a stranded European farmer in the midst of the wilderness of the Democratic republic of Congo, in Sniper - Reloaded, things do not quite go according to plan as an unknown – guess what – sniper – turns on the rescuers. Poorly reviewed and possibly a misdirected watch for most, I, on the other hand, shall rate this movie way higher given the genre is close to my heart. Expecting the general movie-going crowd to celebrate a sniper movie is – well – a long shot

12/20

Heart of a Warrior

Tommy Conlon (Tom Hardy) is a deserter turned war hero, goes by his mother’s maiden name – Riordan - for a surname, and takes after his once-alcoholic father Paddy (Nick Nolte) as a natural born wrestler. Brother Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton) is a family man and schoolteacher, who needs to get into the mixed martial arts (MMA) ring to prevent being dispossessed of his home. Warrior begins with a family wholly estranged, with members blaming each other for past wrongs suffered. And what better arena to bring out the family dirty linen in public than the fighting arena. And after they are through with a bevy of prize-fighters, the brothers – somewhat expectedly – go for each other. With emoting that is of hardly the highest standards, Warrior would have been a damp squib if the fight scenes were not so good, and with a generous dose of help from the unlikely combination of Captain Ahab and Beethoven. This is in some respects an un-missable movie, where in spite of a limp storyline, the sheer execution sets this movie apart

16/20

A Demon Wronged

Johnny Depp's triumphs never end. A coldblooded avenger in 19th century London? No sweat! Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) is a man wronged - charged of a crime he did not commit and thereafter exiled, by the near-theaterically evil Judge Turpin, who then abuses his wife Lucy (Laura Michelle Kelly) and even drives her to suicide. Benjamin returns to London under the alias Sweeney Todd, determined to seek the revenge owed to him. Sweeney Todd proceeds to partner with Nellie Lovett (Helena Bonham Carter) and work as a barber at her meat pie shop on Fleet Street, and extract his pound of flesh - some would say literally - from those that have wronged him. Sweeney Todd - The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - is a retake on a character much depicted on multiple media - the version herein is possibly a reasonably faithful adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim musical. Like most of the protagonist's work, the sheer brilliance of the protagonist's acting abilities takes this adaptation to a different level

15.5/20

Running Forward

When an African-American boy learns to outrun older white boys with his trophy of scavenged bottle-caps, one would hardly imagine that the same skill-set would lead to the emergence of none other than the great Ernie Davis (Rob Brown), one of the greatest running backs of all time in college football. Ernie plays for Syracuse, and (in the natural drift of great sports movies) leads Syracause to the Heisman Trophy and becomes a figure of great inspiration. The Express is not the no-holds-barred realism of Any Given Sunday, but rather the poetic inspiration of Remember the Titans. While a good watch, as sports movies go, it is not particularly differentiated

13/20

After Life and Death

Is Arcadia a place in Alaska that is the last human refuge in a planet over-run by zombies? And where does the omnipresent big brother – the Umbrella Corporation – fit into all of this? Maybe none of it matters. Resident Evil – Afterlife takes off from where the previous editions of the successful franchise have left off – i.e. killing zombies – to more zombie mauling. On to the (thin) storyline. Alice (Mila Jovovich) sets off on a search for Arcadia – and the search leads away from Alaska to Seattle – where she finds a bunch of human survivors, up against – you guessed it – hordes of zombies. But is that all that they are up against, or are they also on the periphery of another great Umbrella Corporation setup. A movie that delivers on its promise of being identical to all its previous editions, and wholesome if not quite family fun

12/20

How Horrible

Nick (Jason Bateman) has a psychotic boss in Dave Harley (Kevin Spacey) – the latter promotes himself into a post that he has been holding up to his subordinate as a carrot all the while. Dental assistant (!) Dale (Charlie Day) has a man-eater of a boss in dentist Julia (Jennifer Aniston) who is out to “deflower” him and end his relationship. Lastly, Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) has an unworthy inheritor in Bobby (Colin Farrell) for a boss, who is all out to run Kurt and the business to the ground. All the three, in a fit of frustration, decide to kill their bosses. But our protagonists here are hardly the experts when it comes to crime. So while they roll out their grand plans, beginning with surveillance and moving on to actual execution, almost everything that can go wrong does. The outcome, however, is reasonably logical, while surprising. With an all-star cast (of bosses), Horrible Bosses is a lighthearted take at the all-too-familiar reality of utterly intolerable workplaces

13/20

Conan the Second

The Cimmerian is back, in a significantly watered down version that sank – some would say unfairly – with very little trace, at the box office. Such is the punishment for those that take on the Governator and his cult movies, even after close to 30 years! On to the story of Conan the Barbarian. Born in the midst of a war where he loses both parents even as arch-enemy Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang) appropriates the last piece of a mask of power that will help him rule the world, the next few (say 20-odd) years of Conan’s (Jason Momoa) life are a blur. Post this, in a serendipitious encounter, Conan finally picks up the trail of the perpetrators. The rest of the movie is a series of skirmishes and minor battles as Conan and his pirates friends hack and cleave through the enemy in their quest to destroy Khalar Zym and rescue the pure-blood Tamara (Rachel Nichols). A decent watch in its own right, but just an action movie nevertheless – till the aura of the predecessor fades, there is no room for a new Conan

11.5/20

Bad Use of Time

Elizabeth Halsey (Cameron Diaz) of the John Adams Middle School is not what you would call the quintessence of virtue. When she is not smoking pot in the car or getting wasted in the classroom even as the class is on an overdose of movies, Elizabeth is working assiduously towards all that is required to be done – fair and foul – to land herself a rich husband. When new teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake) becomes the competing object of affection between Elizabeth and fellow-teacher Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch), it does not take long for the latter to figure out the nether depths that competition would stoop to. However, is this a morality tale, or does evil prevail… or does Elizabeth metamorphose – at least partially – into a better person? Bad Teacher is a marginal movie at best, only redeemed somewhat by the thespian abilities of Cameron Diaz

10.5/20

Live by the Sword

Its been a while since the Wolverine was a lanky young hacker in Swordfish. Gabriel Shear (John Travolta) wants a job done – and the incentives for down-and-out Stanley Jobson (Hugh Jackman) are many – but, primarily, the possibility of reunion with his daughter. So Stanley gets called in – with cyber-crime enforcers hot on his trail, but never quite there – as Gabriel like his idol Houdini continues to keep one ahead of his pursuers, for most of the movie. However, is this yet another morality tale or do Gabriel and Ginger (Halle Berry) and the crew eventally pull off one of the largest cyber-robberies in history? Swordfish is a guns-and-chases copybook old school thriller that, while not quite edge-of-the-seat, is not a throwaway movie either

11/20

30*3 Minutes of Capers

Down-in-the dumps pizza delivery boy Dwayne (Jesse Eisenberg) and friend Chet (Aziz Ansari) lead a humdrum smalltown existence. Till fate decides to come knocking their way. A chance kidnapping by two small time crooks, and Dwayne and Chet, under fear of death, find themselves out to rob a bank for $ 100 grand. With a bomb strapped to Dwayne’s chest, no less. The movie turns to a series of mildly hilarious escapades with the very occasional touch of the outstandingly comic. With a few over-the-top characters, and rank amateur criminals playing their parts rather well, 30 Minutes or Less is about getting your life back in 10 hours or less, and having a few laughs along the way

11.5/20

Tintin’s Back!

When an animated Herge holds up a sketch of the old and familiar Tintin to his new-age avatar, the comparison between two eras of amination could not be more pronounced. First things first. The Adventures of Tintin will be an unadulterated commercial and critical success. This movie leverages off today’s animation capabilities to resurrect an iconic character. The story is a loose adaptation of The Secret of the Unicorn and while much is familiar –including the story of Red Rachkam vs Sir Francis Haddock, there is a lot else that has been introduced or tweaked in the plot including the introduction of much of the unforgettable cast of characters of the series (with the possible exception of Professor Calculus). Diehard Tintin fans will also have a field day spotting the many references and trivia in the movie in relation to other books of the series. The incendiary combination of Spielberg and Peter Jackson combine for a masterpiece, and you will relive the unabashed adventure that is the Tintin comic. Suffice to say – do not miss this one

16.5/20